CHAPTER 21: PRIESTS LOVE DEAF KIDS

CHAPTER 21: PRIESTS LOVE DEAF KIDS
We are the official podcast of the SLC International Tattoo Convention.  Come hang out with us on Sunday 3/24/13 at the Tattoo Convention while we record!  http://www.slctattoo.com/

Our friend Eric is with us, Orrin Porter is back, Bastard Son of Joseph Smith , Our Lord and Savior Johnny Cuervo, Lady Magdalene, and Nimrod the Lamanite are all here.  NEW DRINK created by our Lord and Savior Johnny Cuervo.... It shall be named PORTER SACK!  The Pope retires, pedophilia, priests love the deaf kids, the internet will be the downfall of organized religion, Porter drops some Church History on us, Boy Scouts, Cuervo’s dad will give you merit badges, Nimrod invites Mormons over for dinner but they never come, The Church runs the BSA, Getting married in the Church will cure your Gayness.

Break Hymn: H.A.M. by Kanye West and Jay-Z

Church welfare, ...and I’m a Mormon, Nimrod doesn’t think he’s an Atheist anymore, Bastard disagrees, Nimrod loves the Life of Pi, If people really believed in God they’d be jumping in front of cars, Book of Abraham, Baby Jesus is our favorite Jesus, Joesph’s REAL first vision, Drones! Urim and Thumim phone app, Where are our hoverboards? Come see us at the SLC Tatoo Convention Sunday 3/24/13!!!  

LISTEN NOW!!! WE ARE ON STITCHER!  WE’RE ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER!  EMAIL US!  TWEET US!  POST ON OUR WALL!  LEAVE US A REVIEW!  JESUS LOVES YOU LONG TIME!  LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER!  AMEN BEEEOTCH!!!

CHAPTER 20: THE CHURCH IS OUR DRUNKEN UNCLE

CHAPTER 20: THE CHURCH IS OUR DRUNKEN UNCLE


Pre-Episode: Interview w/ CJ Starkey of the SLC International Tattoo Convention.  www.slctattoo.com

Listener Eric comes to the Great and Spacious Building to hang out with us.  Nimrod The Lamanite, Bastard Son of Joseph Smith, Our Lord and Savior Johnny Cuervo, and Lady Magdalene are here... Orrin Porter is not.  Cuervo makes us a new drink with no name yet.  Nimrod and Bastard are OUT!  Eric is a 2nd generation Jack Mormon.  The Church is our drunken uncle.  Nimrod defends Mormons.

Break Hymn:  We and Dem - Bob Marley & The Wailers

We read fan mail.  A listener asks us for help.  Porter shows up right at the end of the show!  We are happy he was not kidnapped by the church again.

LISTEN NOW!!! WE ARE ON STITCHER!  WE’RE ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER!  EMAIL US!  POST ON OUR WALL!  LEAVE US A REVIEW!  JESUS LOVES YOU LONG TIME!  LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER!  AMEN BEEEOTCH!!!

CHAPTER 19: SKIPPY IN OUTER DARKNESS PT 2 - "Better than masturbation"

CHAPTER 19: SKIPPY IN OUTER DARKNESS PT 2 - Better than masturbation

Skippy is back in the Great and Spacious Building and brought his YooHoo and his virginity!  Nimrod The Lamanite, Orrin Porter, The Bastard Son of Joseph Smith, Our Lord and Savior Johnny Cuervo, and Lady Magdalene are all here.  Virgin Mary from Vexx’d podcast pays us a visit.  Porter addresses Skippy’s testimony.  Prophet Paul sits down with the panel and goes through the Great and Spacious Building Recommend Interview.  Skippy shares stories of meeting stars... and he has the greatest Dave Grohl story ever!!!  Skippy says Outer Darkness is better than Masturbation!  

LISTEN NOW!!!  WE ARE ON STITCHER, ITUNES, MIRO, ZUNE - LEAVE US A REVIEW.  LIKE US ON FACEBOOK, FOLLOW ON TWITTER, EMAIL US OUTERDARKNESSPODCAST@GMAIL.COM, SEND A DONATION!  JESUS LOVES YOU LONG TIME!  LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER!!!  AMEN BEEEEOTCH!!!

CHAPTER 18: SKIPPY IN OUTER DARKNESS PT 1

CHAPTER 18: SKIPPY IN OUTER DARKNESS - Pt 1
We got Skippy!!!  Our first True Believing LDS member comes to the Great and Spacious Building.  Skippy Jessop from The Virgin Diaries, joined Nimrod the Lamanite, Orrin Porter, Our Lord and Savior Johnny Cuervo, Lady Magdalene, and The Bastard Son of Joseph Smith.  We talk Virgin Diaries, Mormon Dating, Sex... and lack thereof.  Skippy bears his testimony.  Porter puts Skippy on the spot and asks him the hard questions about believing in the church. Email us OuterDarknessPodcast@gmail.com  

LISTEN NOW!!! WE ARE ON STITCHER!  WE’RE ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER!  EMAIL US!  POST ON OUR WALL!  LEAVE US A REVIEW!  JESUS LOVES YOU LONG TIME!  LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER!  AMEN BEEEOTCH!!!

CHAPTER 17: COME AT ME BRETHREN!!!

CHAPTER 17: COME AT ME BRETHREN!!!

We got snowed out and had to cancel the recording.  BUT our guests Max and Miss Lacey showed up anyway.  YOU CAN'T STOP US GOD!!!  So we sat down with some beers and decided to have a conversation about Atheism.  Email us: OuterDarknessPodcast@gmail.com

LISTEN NOW!  ITUNES, STITCHER, MIRO, ZUNE... DOWNLOAD, SUBSCRIBE, AND LEAVE A REVIEW!  LIKE US ON FACEBOOK, FOLLOW US ON TWITTER, EMAIL US!  LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER, JESUS LOVES YOU LONG TIME!

CHAPTER 16: CHAMPAGNE IN THE FACE AND FOOTSIES UNDER THE TABLE

CHAPTER 16:  CHAMPAGNE IN THE FACE AND FOOTSIES UNDER THE TABLE

Make some Mamosas and drink with us while you listen!  ½ Champagne, ½ Orange Juice.  That’s it!  Cheers bitches.  Enjoy the episode.

The return of Orrin Porter!!!  He doesn’t have a good story about where the hell he’s been.  MAMOSAS!!!  Porter is so happy Romney didn’t win, Nimrod is disappointed, and Bastard doesn’t care either way.  We were in Salt Lake City Weekly for Gavin’s Underground.  We go over some of the questions together.  We still go to church sometimes.  Does your family still try to bring you back?  Make sure you use a security password on your wifi. 

Break Hymn:  Well I Say - Trevor Hall

We all quit smoking... except for cigars.  Magdalene loves her E-Cigarette.  SHARING TIME!  Porter talks about Free Agency.  Bastard leads a discussion on “FUCK”.  Magdalene schools us on how to talk to women.  We drink Hulk semen.  Should you buy strangers drinks at the bar?  Magdalene loves group....  Go to Johnny Cuervo’s facebook page and “LIKE” it!  Cuervo gives us some great drink recommendations.  You got an idea for a drink?  Email Johnny Cuervo at OuterDarknessPodcast@gmail.com. 

LISTEN NOW!  ITUNES, STITCHER, MIRO, ZUNE... DOWNLOAD, SUBSCRIBE, AND LEAVE A REVIEW!  LIKE US ON FACEBOOK, FOLLOW US ON TWITTER, EMAIL US!  LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER, JESUS LOVES YOU LONG TIME!  

CHAPTER 15: END OF THE WORLD SHOW (THE DEMON IS A MIDGET FUCKER)

CHAPTER 15: END OF THE WORLD SHOW (THE DEMON IS A MIDGET FUCKER)

Recorded at Brewvies 12/20/12, the day before the world didn’t end.  Don’t google Blue Waffles.  The Demon Angel Moron-I joins us.  Lord Johnny Cuervo serves us Surfer on Acid for Sacrament.  We open the mics up for testimony and confession before the world ends.  Midget fucking and shocking the monkey.  What is your Sacrament now?  Mormon porn.  Brandon and Mario from Salty Horror Podcast sit down and chat with us.  Also check out Brandon on A Steady Diet of Music Podcast.  Bucket lists for the end of the world.  Tacos and microphones.  What is your dark passenger?  

LISTEN NOW!!! WE ARE ON STITCHER!  LEAVE US A REVIEW!  WE'RE ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER!  EMAIL US! POST ON OUR WALL! JESUS LOVES YOU LONG TIME! LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER!  AMEN BEEEEOTCH!!!

CHAPTER 14: COMING OUT, DRINK REVELATIONS, and MORMON SWINGERS!

CHAPTER 14: COMING OUT, DRINK REVELATIONS, and MORMON SWINGERS!
Our 2nd session of the Outer Darkness General Conference.  Thank you to Eric and Julie for your donations to the show.  It’s easy to donate, just click on the “Donate” button on our page!  Joe Nimrod joins us in a continuation of Chapter 10.  Orrin Porter is still missing, forget fasting and praying, eat a cheeseburger for Porter.  

Therapy session for Joe Nimrod.  The conundrum of fully coming out as a heathen vs. “faking it” to avoid conflict with your family.  Bastard tells us about coming out to his MoMo fam.  Coming out to your family as an apostate gives them an opportunity to exercise unconditional love.  Are you sacrificing your happiness to save others’ feelings?  Adopt-A-Mormon.  Lord Johnny Cuervo has a brand new drink he received by revelation!  We name this holy drink “EVE’S FORBIDDEN POON” and dub it the official drink of the show.  We read YOUR email.  We revisit our purpose for doing the podcast.  Since we are recording during General Conference, we go deep doctrine with our discussion.  We are starting our own religion.  Mormon drinking hymns. Mormon SWINGERS??? WTF?  Joe Nimrod tells us about his experience at a Mormon Swingers party.  Recommendations!  

LISTEN NOW!!! WE ARE ON STITCHER!  LEAVE US A REVIEW! WE’RE ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER!  EMAIL US!  POST ON OUR WALL!  JESUS LOVE YOU LONG TIME!  LISTEN NOW, REPENT LATER!  AMEN BEEEOTCH!!!